Not a Late Post!

Today
I am lost in the whirlpool of my own mind.

Alright, so today is going to be rather a-typical of my posts of late.  No, I don't mean anything like "I'm not posting because..." whatever reason.  Or "hey it' s late and I'm goin got rable."  no, I'm going to hearken back to what this blog was originally.  Oh, I'm still goin to do a paragraph, but that will com ein a bit.  If you notice, I haven't gone back and edited those glaring typing errors.  To be honest, I really can't bring myself to care about them right now.  So yes, there's some NO BS Just Blog in here.

The one line "poem" really fits my mood right now.  Had a talk with some people on BP earlier today, bless their sweet hearts.  I managed to avoid the thoguth process most fo the day, but right before dinner it hit me like , well, like a ton of bricks, if you'll excuse the cliche phrase.  My WoW time expired today, so I have to go buy another card if I want to keep playing.  And, aside from raiding, and leveling characters, I've grown kinda bored with the game.  Oh, It's still an excellenet way to pass the time.  And dont' get me wrong, I still like leveling and such.  But lately is had been all i've done.  My own fault I know.  But, in a way, I've been tryin to wear myself out fo the game.  I think I reache dth ebored limit a while ago, but just kept on playing cuz 1) I had nothing better to do adn 2) i still had time lefton my game card.  Whatever, that's not eh crux of hte issue.

I can feel myself in a negativespiral, if only for today.  Or tomorrow, I don't know.  I just... I can't help it.  Okay, well, I suppose I can.  But silence, you and your logicalness!  My dad is on m to find a job, and I know I need to.  I can't keep putting of paying my studdnt loans forever.  And I have years left yet before I can even hope to have them dropped.  But the job market right now is horribly for people like me, inexperienced, fresh out of college, blah blah blah.  Point it, employers want people with experience and several years worth of it.  All the jobs that DON'T want such things are temp, clerical, or data entry.  Three of my favorite things in teh world.  What's worse, I really don't know what it is I want to do with my life.  At least, not as a career.  I like writing, but I hate journalism.  I love Englihs, but god help me I don't want to be a teacher.  So what the hell am I upposed to do?  ARGH!@  I am stuck in a damn hole with  broken toy shovel as my only means to dig myself out.  ><

Add to That mess hat I'm feeling bad about my body right now.  Great, I'm fat.  I get it.  I've been fat my entire life.  Most days it doesn't bohter me.  most day.  Today... I dont' know.  And my dad is all "take  walk today, take a walk every day.  it can't hurt."  No, it really can't.  But even when I was goign to the gym, I don't feel like it really helped any.  Ooooo boy lookit the fat chick go ridin' that bike for all of 30 minutes!  She's really trying to get healthy!  /golfclap  I honestly don't know what's wrong with me today or what put me in such a shitty mood, but there it is.  Anyway, sorry to unload on you reader-types.

And now what you've all been waiting for!  A paragraph.  Routine is good, yes?  I didn't get any votes for this week, so I'm left to my own devices.

It's funny, you know, the things you think of when you're driving.  I'm not sure if it's a death wish or just morbid curiosity, but I have on several occasions, thought of all the varied ways I could die.  It wasn't that I wanted to die, or was feeling depressed.  It's really just one of those things that pop into your head.  Like thinking about something embarrassing or worrisome when you're trying to fall asleep.  Those thoughts are there and they darn well don't want to leave.  So you're stuck with them.  How many different ways can you die?  I don't know, why don't you take yourself out driving sometimes and think about it?